Central & South America

Omar Gonzalez Gets Torched As Pachuca Is Knocked Out Of The Club World Cup

In continuing the theme of 2017 being a sh*t year for U.S. soccer, the lone American at the Club World Cup was at fault for the goal that knocked Mexico’s Pachuca out of the competition on Tuesday at Hazza Bin Zayed Stadium in the UAE. Gremio’s Everton turned Omar Gonzalez inside out before curling in a wonderful shot to give the Brazilian side a 1-0 victory in extra time.

Gonzalez apparently thought he was still playing for the USMNT, perhaps against Trinidad and Tobago. 

Peru’s Paolo Guerrero Tries To Be Maradona, Gets Banned For World Cup

Paolo Guerrero thought he could be Diego Maradona. Now Peru’s captain and all-time leading goal scorer will be suspended for the country’s first World Cup in 36 years. FIFA handed down a 12-month ban to Guerrero for testing positive for a banned stimulant following a CONMEBOL World Cup qualifier, football’s world governing body announced Thursday.

According To Dad, Thiago Messi “Is A Phenomenon,” Mateo “A Son Of A Bitch”

We’ve got it, we’ve pinned down two-year-old Mateo Messi’s future on the pitch. After graduating from La Masia summa cum laude, the phenom will replace a 45-year-old Sergio Busquets in Barcelona’s holding midfield role, because, according to father Lionel, Mateo is “un hijo de puta.” He’s a real mean sumbitch.  

Messi's Statue In Buenos Aires Has Been Vandalized Again

A statue of Lionel Messi in Buenos Aires has been vandalized. The statue, which was erected in June 2016, was cut off at the ankles and removed from its base. Basically, the vandals did what defenders try to do all around the world when they face Messi. And they got away with it because the bronze statue has much slower feet than Messi.

The Full Results Of The 2018 FIFA World Cup Draw

The World Cup draw was completed this morning at the State Kremlin Palace in Moscow with the 32 finalist nations placed into eight groups of four. The 2018 FIFA World Cup will kick off on June 14 at Luzhniki Stadium with a match featuring host-side Russia and Saudi Arabia. We now know the makeup of the entire field for the competition as well as the group stage matches that'll captivate the planet next summer. Here are the full results from the 2018 FIFA World Cup draw. 

Vancouver Fans Should Be Excited Over New Striker Signing

The Vancouver Whitecaps pulled off what might be one of the biggest moves of the MLS offseason on Thursday, signing Venezuela international Anthony Blondell. The striker led the Primera Division in Venezuela with 23 goals in 2017, leading Monagas SC to the Torneo Apertura title. 

Anthony Blondell (pronounced blun-dell) could be a coup for the Whitecaps. At 23 years old, he’s an emerging star, having made his international debut earlier this month. His 2017 haul of 23 goals came in 33 starts and 37 appearances and many of them were impressive strikes.

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