Announcers

Pitch Invader Showers Himself In Beer, Gets Laid Out By NFL-Worthy Hit

Sunday’s 1-1 draw between Newcastle United and Crystal Palace at Selhurst Park kept both teams rooted in the Premier League’s 10-team relegation scrap, and perhaps that was the motivation for this pitch invader’s attempt to literally drown his sorrows on the field. 

The man’s antics included pouring beer all over his face, going on a short jog before getting absolutely truck-sticked by a vigilant steward and then offering a flurry of wanker gestures and Bronx salutes while being escorted from the ground. What a day out.

Announcers Are Amusingly Slow To React To This Superb Goal

Announcers can bring a lot to a sporting event, providing insightful commentary or added excitement. They can also detract from a game, as anyone who has ever tried to watch a basketball game with Bill Walton as the color commentator can attest to. The announcers for the I-League match between Minerva Punjab and Mohun Bagan fall into the latter category for the magnificent goal late in the match by Kingsley Obumneme.

Alexi Lalas’s Scathing USMNT Criticisms, Ranked

The story of Sunday night’s 1-1 draw between Seattle and Los Angeles wasn’t Lamar Neagle’s 85th minute equalizer for the Sounders, nor was it Gyasi Zardes actually doing a goal for the Galaxy. It was provided by FS1 broadcaster Alexi Lalas after the match had concluded. Lalas has some opinions on the USMNT, and he brought them. He brought them hard.

I Like Landon Donovan, But I Can’t Hear Landon Donovan

When the United States began their Gold Cup campaign last Saturday I was in a bar. I was there to watch this game, but somewhere around the 30th minute I started to drift. I was like a pass from the American midfield — serenely floating here and there without any purpose or sense of direction.

Dom Dwyer’s opening goal sent the bartender on a rambling ode to Sydney Leroux that lasted until tonight’s match against Nicaragua, a week-long sonnet on unrealized love. 

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