This James Rodriguez Goal Is As Delicate As A German Shepherd Picking Up A Kitten By Its Head

James Rodriguez welcomed the Bundesliga back from its winter break with a sublime piece of accuracy, an exquisite free kick to cap off Bayern Munich’s 3-1 victory over Bayer Leverkusen on Friday. With the Munich holding a one-goal lead heading into stoppage time, the reigning German champions got a little bit of wiggle room thanks to the James Rodriguez free kick goal. 

Twitter Helps USMNT Defender Eric Lichaj Get A Dog — And It Has The Perfect Name

American-born defender Eric Lichaj had a deal with his wife: Score a hat trick and she will finally let him get a dog. The Nottingham Forest defender came oh so close to scoring a hat trick against Arsenal during the FA Cup on Sunday. After Lichaj asked Twitter to bombard his wife with dog memes, she caved. Eric Lichaj finally has a dog. 

Here Comes A Monkey With The Match Ball

A macaque monkey (fun fact: the most widespread primate genus aside from humans) delivered the match ball in a Japanese J-League match over the weekend while threaded out in full Cerezo Osaka kit. The monkey attempted a brief session of free styling before picking up the football and delivering it to the referee.

It’s not as riveting as War for the Planet of the Apes, but you do get the feeling that an evolved chimpanzee like Caesar would absolutely hate something like this.

Michael Owen Is A Jockey Now

Lots of athletes pivot to different sports after their days playing their first-choice have come to an end. Rio Ferdinand just did it with boxing. This is the first time, though, we have heard of an athlete pivoting to being a jockey. Michael Owen, the 37-year-old former Liverpool, Newcastle, Real Madrid and Manchester United striker, has done just that.

Owen rode a horse called "Calder Prince" in the Prince's Countryside Trust seven-furlong flat raced, and impressed with a second-place finish.