Barcelona Are Going To Completely Reinvent The Camp Nou
Here are some things we think they should add to the Camp Nou while they're renovating it:
1. A moat
2. All of these ideas
3. Statue of Messi to rival the statue of Ronaldo
4. Extra concession stands, preferably with Tapas
5. Upgraded daycare facilities so Antonella doesn't have to watch three kids at once
6. Four yards by four yards square marked off with velvet ropes in honor of Xavi
7. Underneath the underground parking is a secretive U.S. government installation, with which to house the G.I. Joes or the Transformers or some of their ilk
8. A place for Sergio Busquets to keep the souls of his victims
9. Upgraded medical facilities to better treat those who have had their ankles broken by Ousmane Dembele
10. The Fan Favorite Andre Gomes Fan Zone, an "ESPN Zone" style restaurant/sports bar/arcade that visitors can flock to when the children have worn them down to the point of collapse and they just want five seconts to themselves, dammit. There will be a gift shop and the things contained therein will cost far too much money but you will buy them anyway, reader.
11. A TV that plays the Barca-PSG 6-1 match on a loop, but Neymar is replaced by a CGI hybrid of Philippe Coutinho and Ousmane Dembele.
12. Living quarters for all the players. It might be cool to live in a stadium, but only for like a little while.
13. More Dippin' Dots concession stands
14. A Toby Keith's I Love This Bar & Grill in an attempt to appeal to American fans
15. Something with wine, probably