The UEFA Team of the Year shortlist has been released. Most of the usual suspects are there (Manuel Neuer is a rather glaring omission). Lionel Messi is there. Neymar is there. Cristiano Ronaldo, Luis Suarez and Gareth Bale are there.
And, um, so is Joe Allen.
Yes that Joe Allen.
Give me hope Joe Allen pic.twitter.com/8HumWPwaNg
— Whack Sabbath (@BenTheTim) November 19, 2016
It's true: just like in that video, Joe Allen has come out of nowhere to do a thing in soccer.
The same Joe Allen that couldn't get a game for Liverpool last season but managed to parlay a good Euro 2016 into a move to Stoke, where he has been pretty good.
It's weird seeing 5'5", chicken-farming Joe Allen on this list when, for example, Arturo Vidal was left off. So were Mesut Ozil, Philippe Coutinho and Eden Hazard. And Ivan Rakitic, Sergio Busquets, Blaise Matuidi, Marco Verratti, Sami Khedira and Thomas Muller.
Wait what the hell is happening why is Joe Allen on that list?
(Side note: Aaron Ramsey is also on the list and it's deeply perplexing.)
Here's the complete shortlist:
Goalkeepers:
Gianluigi Buffon (Juventus)
Keylor Navas (Real Madrid)
Jan Oblak (Atletico Madrid)
Rui Patricio (Sporting Lisbon)
Defenders:
Toby Alderweireld (Tottenham Hostspur)
Jerome Boateng (Bayern Munich)
Leonardo Bonnuci (Juventus)
Dani Carvajal (Real Madrid)
Diego Godin (Atletico Madrid)
Raphael Guerreiro (Borussia Dortmund)
Juanfran (Atletico Madrid)
Joshua Kimmich (Bayern Munich)
Laurent Koscielny (Arsenal)
Pepe (Real Madrid)
Gerard Pique (Barcelona)
Sergio Ramos (Real Madrid)
Midfielders:
Joe Allen (Stoke) (!!!!!!!)
Kevin De Bruyne (Man City)
Yannick Carrasco (Atletico Madrid)
Andres Iniesta (Barcelona)
N'Golo Kante (Chelsea)
Toni Kroos (Real Madrid)
Grzegorz Krychowiak (PSG)
Riyad Mahrez (Leicester)
Luka Modric (Real Madrid)
Dimitri Payet (West Ham)
Paul Pogba (Man Utd)
Aaron Ramsey (Arsenal)
Forwards:
Sergio Aguero (Man City)
Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang (Borussia Dortmund)
Gareth Bale (Real Madrid)
Antoine Griezmann (Atletico Madrid)
Gonzalo Higuain (Juventus)
Zlatan Ibrahimovic (Man Utd)
Robert Lewandowski (Bayern Munich)
Lionel Messi (Barcelona)
Neymar (Barcelona)
Cristiano Ronaldo (Real Madrid)
Alexis Sanchez (Arsenal)
Luis Suarez (Barcelona)
You can vote for Joe Allen (or whoever) here.
