Two Players Combust Into Hellfire After Achieving A Disgraceful Double Flop

Opponents in a Brazilian league match appeared to suffer simultaneous explosions of mind and body after a slight coming together, resulting in one of the worst double flops ever recorded.

One of the major developments in the world of football over the past week has been the deployment of the “green card” in Italy’s Serie B to reward players for acts of virtue, including admitting to having taken a dive in order to win a penalty or free kick.

In Brazil’s Campeonato Brasileiro Serie B on Saturday, a match between Goias and Vila Nova featured the kind of dive that makes you question whether or not virtue is still actually alive in football. What we witnessed in a ‘clash’ between Rosicley Pereira da Silva and Marcelo Cordeiro were dramatics of the highest order.

The bit of argy-bargy featured all the shamelessness of most fights you see on the pitch, the players coming together with their chests puffed out like a couple of prairie chickens warding off sexual rivals in the great midwestern grasslands. They looked so tough and so manly, but then they gently touched the tips of their noses together, causing them each to combust into hellfire while screaming and clutching their faces.

Theoretically, if this had taken place in Italy’s Serie B and both players had admitted to their actions, would they be rewarded with green cards?

We believe that it’s now actually time for soccer’s fourth variation of color coded card. In the rare instance of the wholly despicable, synchronized double flop, we give you: the pink card.

The pink card will be an actual pink slip, the American practice by which you’re notified of your termination of employment and layoff.

You get the pink card and you’re done. You’re not only banned for the match, you’ve got to find a new career.

(H/T: Vice Sports)

Follow me on Twitter: @ConmanFleming

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