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News

Soccer Legend Buys American Club, Promises To Explain Why

Ronaldo Lima has bought the Fort Lauderdale Strikers of the North American Soccer League.

 

If you are confused, it’s all right. So are we.

It is not every day that the purchase of a franchise is announced over Instagram, and it is even less common for the purchaser to promise to explain his actions to the general public over a live YouTube stream.

Imagine George W. Bush purchasing a video rental store, and then going on Good Morning America to explain to everyone and their grandmother why, exactly, he made his purchase. Odd, no?

The whole thing smacks of a publicity stunt, which we guess makes sense, because absolutely no one is paying attention to the North American Soccer League. Literally no one. 

We have to believe that the press conference may end up being one of the more awkward things to happen in American soccer in quite some time. Nothing sets the mood quite like a has-been soccer legend talking about a never-will-be league all while name dropping legends of whom the American general public have absolutely no knowledge. 

Seriously, Jan Van Beveren? Gordon Banks? Teofilo Cubillas? Obviously these were all amazing players, but you could walk into an Ft. Lauderdale sports bar, say you're the brother of George Best, and you would get zero rise out of most everyone. And that’s George Best, the most well known player in the club’s history!

We hope you know what you are doing, Ronaldo. We look forward to the press conference. 

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