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Is This Man A Football Genius? Or Just The Luckiest Man In The Premier League.

Mike Ashley: Football Genius

Photo: @PurelyFootball | Twitter

Praise rains down on St James’ Park and all who sail in her following Newcastle United’s 2-0 win away to West Brom, their fourth Premier League victory on the spin. They’re now up to 8th, two points ahead of Liverpool and four points off the Champions League spots.

All of which highlights the tremendous footballing foresight and nerve displayed by owner Mike Ashely, who steadfastly stuck by manager Alan Pardew through their long winless run. A lesser man would have sacked Pardew months ago, but not Ashley: titan of the business world, Svengali of the footballing universe.

And it had absolutely nothing to do with the $10m-$15m it would have cost Ashley to break the 8-year contract he awarded Pardew back in September 2012. Nothing, we tell you. Not a single thing.

Arsenal Bingo

Photo: @FOXSoccer | Twitter

Arsenal’s 2-1 defeat away to Swansea on Sunday was a near-perfect caricature of their season (indeed, the last nine years of Wenger’s reign) so far. In fact, if you’d had your Arsenal Bingo card to hand, you’d have been perilously close to a Wenger Jackpot:

- Alexis Sanchez to score: check

- Danny Welbeck to spurn a gilt-edged chance: check

- Defensive display with all the grit and tenacity of a particularly effeminate peacock: check

- Concede goal from a header: check 

- Throw away lead in last 15 minutes: check

You were only one long-term injury to a key player away from winning a cuddly toy.

Only bottom-place Burnley has conceded more goals from headers than Arsenal, and no team has given up more points from winning positions. Yet, while the “Wenger Out” brigade will be sharpening their larynxes, The Gunners are still only one point adrift of their habitual fourth place league position. Plus ca change…

An Audience with Gary Cahill

Photo: @chelseafc | Twitter

It was quite the afternoon for Chelsea’s Gary Cahill as the Blues defeated Liverpool 2-1 at Anfield. First, he unwittingly deflected Emre Can’s long-range shot beyond the reach of goalkeeper Thibaut Courtois. Then, afforded all the time in Merseyside by Liverpool’s generous defending, he made amends by hitting home Chelsea’s equalizer.  Finally, he rounded off his performance in the 87th minute with the sort of reflex save that Simon Mignolet can only dream of: how referee Anthony Taylor failed to spot Cahill’s handiwork is a question Brendan Rodgers asked repeatedly in the post-match aftermath. 

Rodgers will know, however, that it was his defenders’ poor decision-making, not Taylor’s, which cost his team so dearly. That Chelsea only enjoyed 40% of possession yet still managed to out-shoot their hosts by 8 shots to 5 gives you an indication of the number of times Liverpool’s defence carelessly gave away the ball in dangerous areas. As we’ve said ad nauseam, that’s nothing new. But until Liverpool rediscover the potent attacking form of last year, their defensive malaise will continue to cost them points. 

Champions of Autumn

Photo: @TheScoreFC | Twitter

So said Jose Mourinho, as he sought to downplay Chelsea’s strong start to the 2014-15 campaign. Having spent the off-season adding goals and finesse to his side with the acquisitions of Diego Costa (who notched up his 10th goal of the season against Liverpool) and Cesc Fabregas (9 assists in 11 EPL games), he can safely add the Summer to his list of seasons conquered.

On the evidence of Chelsea’s performances to date, and those of their supposed title rivals, we’re quietly confident the Winter and Spring championships will follow in due course. 

Long Kiss Goodnight

Photo: @CapturedFooty | Twitter

The Daily Mail, probably England’s – nay, the English speaking world’s – most hyperbole-prone newspaper, described Shane Long’s £12m transfer to Southampton this summer as “pants-on-the-head bonkers”. And while two strikes do not make a summer, the Irishman’s brace against Leicester City showed that The Saints have both strength-in-depth and the capacity to win games when playing poorly: key traits for any team with title-challenging aspirations. Their 2-0 victory keeps them in second place, four points behind Chelsea.

Incidentally, Long has now scored for three different Premier League teams in 2014 alone: West Brom, Hull and Southampton.

Tramp.

Twinkle Toes

Photo: @patitocasella | Twitter

Anyone who saw Southampton’s Graziano Pelle man-handle Leicester City’s defence on Saturday, particularly to set up Long’s opening goal, will wonder how on Earth such a bull of a man was once crowned Italy’s Latin American Ballroom Dance Champion (albeit at the tender age of 11).

Spineless

Photo: @bet365 | Twitter

When at full strength, Manchester City have one of the most formidable spines in European football: Hart, Kompany, Silva, Aguero. Take out one or more of the vertebra, however, and the rest of the team starts flopping listlessly. 

City were nearly knocked out cold by QPR’s Charlie Austin inside the first 20 minutes of their 2-2 draw, so bereft of structure were they without captain Kompany. Austin thrice had the ball in the back of the City net in the first quarter of the match, and while the first of his two disallowed goals was clearly offside, they have eagle-eyed Mike Dean to thank for spotting Joe Hart’s comical double-kick and chalking off Austin’s second (though thankfully not before the QPR striker had performed his bizarre chicken dance alone and unencumbered).

At the other end of the field, City continue to be bailed out by the individual brilliance of Sergio Aguero, who notched up his 11th and 12th goals of the season to secure a point for the light blues. The Argentine is now single-handedly responsible for 8 of City’s last 10 EPL goals; heaven help them if he doesn’t come back from International duty next week in anything less than peak physical condition.

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