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Minnesota United Player Scores Incredible Long-Range Stunner, Does Not Seem To Give AF

Minnesota United didn’t have much to play for in its final match of its inaugural season other than as a possible spoiler against San Jose on Sunday. Maybe that explains the reaction of Jerome Thiesson, who scored a cracking shot from outside the box and then didn’t seem to give a single f*ck. 

San Jose needed a win to make the playoffs and took an early lead through Danny Hoesen 15 minutes in. But about 20 minutes later the ball bounced to Thiesson near the top of the box. The right-footed right back then curled in a beautiful shot with his left foot past Earthquakes keeper Andrew Tarbell. It’s the type of strike that typically sends the scorer into a frenzy running around like a dog about to go on a walk, but Thiesson reacted like he just tapped in a short putt to save par. 

Defenders don’t typically score often so you expect them to get excited when they produce a goal instead of preventing one. This was Thiesson’s second goal all season. After nonchalantly whipping his left foot at the ball for a great goal and he just as casually put his head down and began walking back for the restart. His celebration consisted of an ever-so-slight fist pump and creating a box with his hands around his eyes.

 

Where’s the wild exuberance we expect following fantastic scores? Like a tree falling in the woods with no one around, can we be sure he actually scored if there’s no jubilant celebration? Sure the goal hurt San Jose more than it would ever help Minnesota, but an equalizer of that quality deserves a quality reaction. 

The Earthquakes went on to win 3-2, essentially making Thiesson’s goal as meaningless as his celebration was enthusiastic. San Jose won it on a 93rd-minute goal from Marcos Ureña following a great piece of team play and a heads-up assist from Chris Wondolowski. 

Fortunately, the Earthquakes celebrated the goal like you’d expect. 

San Jose clinched the final playoff spot in the Western Conference despite finishing tied on 46 points with FC Dallas, which had a 21-goal advantage in goal differential because the first MLS tie-breaker is wins, not goal differential. The Earthquakes will face Vancouver in a first-round matchup on Wednesday. Minnesota finished the season eight games under .500 and will not, in fact, win the MLS Cup in its first season. 

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