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Cristiano Ronaldo Apparently Wakes Up With More Energy Than Anyone Ever

When a normal person wakes up, there's a process to be gone through before one gets enough energy to go outside and be a person. Generally there's some combination of a shower, breakfast, coffee and maybe exercise before one is ready to meet the day. Humans are ike diesel engines. It takes us a while to get properly revved up.

Except for Cristiano Ronaldo, who may not even be a human, just a 6'2" bundle of pure energy, hair gel and abs, and who gets out of bed like no human being before him.

That is not how you wake up, Cristiano Ronaldo. I don't believe you for a second, looking like you have some kind of psychological disorder in which you get up and snort cocaine in your sleep.

Not even the peppiest morning person jumps out of bed like that.

The video is part a very dumb thing called the #RaiseIt challenge, put on by Poker Stars, in which people apparently try to do things better than other people? Ronaldo is competing in the #RaiseIt challenge against Dwyane Wade for some reason.

(Money. The reason is money.)

It'a all starting to make sense. I would pretend to have energy in the morning too if someone paid me a large sum on money to do so.

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