I almost feel bad for Sepp Blatter at this point; keyword: almost.
Don’t get me wrong, what is happening to him is completely pathetic and pitiful, but he deserves it all. His first words of his latest press conference were so ironic it was like someone paid him to take classes in poetic irony just for the occasion:
“We have to clean here first.”
Yes, Sepp, yes you do.
That was comedian Simon Brodkin (aka Lee Nelson), making it rain over Sepp Blatter with bid money for “North Korea 2026” during what was Blatter’s first press conference since announcing his resignation as FIFA President.
Still president today, Blatter was graceful in how he handled the situation, but in the way someone is graceful when their ex comes into the bar they are chilling at with their friends, destroys their life with one phrase, and then leaves. He was clearly hurt - it was written all over his face as fake dollar bills twirled around him - but you would never know it from what he said.
After the cleaning mandate, Blatter took up the role of guard of honor when asked about his reasons for resigning from the presidency.
“[Different groups] were attacking FIFA. I had with my conscience to do something for FIFA, not for me."
"I want, I still want -- and this is my prerogative -- to defend the institution of FIFA.”
The saddest part is that somewhere deep inside, he might actually want to defend FIFA. The sentiment is just buried under a pile of corruption, disingenuousness, and public spite so large that the world will never see it, and deservedly so; Blatter’s historic embrace of corruption precludes him from empathy or mercy.
If he looked hurt as the fake dollar bills rained down around him, then it was about time.
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