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The Best Football Squad Money Can Buy

Football fans, players and managers all have their "Ultimate XIs" or fantasy teams. After all, they are a little like penalties in the soccer world: Everyone tends to have an opinion about the best way to make one.

To settle the countless arguments fantasy teams inspire, we've taken it upon ourselves to assemble our own Ultimate XI based on more definitive criteria: price tag. That is, determining the most expensive player in each position and then assembling them into the ultimate world-beating squad. But the result isn’t exactly as "ultimate" as you might think.

It turns out, the world’s most expensive team is what you could call the diamond-encrusted mini-van of the soccer world. This team glitters, but just like Ronaldo’s shoes, it doesn’t do much to improve performance (besides a potential placebo effect).

To be fair, it’s impossible to say what some players would actually cost, so they didn't make the list. We would only be able to guess about players like Lionel Messi who haven't made a recent transfer - although, recent news about tensions between Barcelona’s manager Luis Enrique and superstar Lionel Messi leads one to wonder if we might soon find out if Messi is really worth $104 million more than Ballon d'Or winner Cristiano Ronaldo.

Nevertheless, we've done the legwork to uncover the most valuable players in every position (as it stands today based on transfer market fees) and now you can behold the most expensive football squad ever assembled:

The most expensive team money can buy

Below, to provide detail behind our Ultimate XI, we've listed the top prices paid by clubs for each position on the team. 

Offense:

Cristiano Ronaldo (£80 million), Neymar da Silva Santos Júnior (£43.6 million), Luis Suarez (£65 million - £75 million)

These players would be the turbo in the minivan engine, if we stick with the metaphor. Cristiano is the most expensive of the three, and rightfully so after winning the Ballon d'Or this year, similar to winning a Heisman Trophy. If you’re still skeptical about Cristiano being the best, as I was, watch this recap of some of his accomplishments this year. 

Nuff said.

Midfield:

Gareth Bale (£78 million), James Rodriguez (£63 million), Axel Witsel (€40m or £31.7m)

Gareth Bale was thought to be the all-time most expensive European soccer transfer to-date when he left Tottenham for Real Madrid. But a report from FIFA back in October confirmed that Cristiano still holds that honor. 

He and wonderboy James Rodriguez bolster the Real Madrid offense to new levels. Axel Witsel, “the beast,” holds down Zenit St. Petersburg’s midfield when he’s not playing with his national squad Belgium.  But, surprisingly, none of these players were voted to the Fifapro World XI team, an extension of the Ballon d’Or award. Go figure.

Defense:

Luke Shaw (£27m), David Luiz (£50 million), Eliaquim Mangala (£32 million) and Dani Alves (€35 million or £26.7 million) 

The most interesting on this list is Luke Shaw, who transferred from Southampton for a record breaking fee (for a teenager) of 30 million. Besides Alves, all of these transfers were made last summer. But the only defender on this list to make the 2014 FIFApro World XI team was David Luiz, who arguably shouldn’t be on the squad. 

Goalkeeper:

Gianluigi Buffon (€51,645,690 or £39.4 millon)

Buffon made his move from Parma to Juventus back in the summer of 2001. He's getting a little old at the age of 36, but he's still pretty damn good, just not the best. The title of best goalkeeper in the world goes to Manuel Neuer who helped Germany win a deserved World Cup this last summer. Surprisingly, Bayern Munich was able to steal him away from Shalke 04 for a fee of around £20.19 million, according to Transfer Markt. A bargain considering he was on the 3-man short list for the 2014 Ballon d'Or ceremony this month. And not since 1963, when Lev Yashin won the title, has a keeper come so close to winning the Ballon d’Or again. Yashin, also known as the "Black Spider," was notorious for his unusual pre-game ritual. 

According to FIFA.com, here's the ritual: “The trick is to smoke a cigarette to calm your nerves and then take a big swig of strong liquor to tone your muscles.”

Sounds like accurate science to us. 

When it comes down to it, defenders and goalkeepers are often under-appreciated for their stoic sacrifices. A great defender often stops a break before it can even happen, something not everyone else can understand. 

The Bottom Line:

The twinkle of Neymar’s feet and the pure velocity of Bale, these are the things that amount to record-breaking transfer fees. Blinded by the flash and dazzle of these two superb players, we forget a team cannot function full of superstars, it still needs a few hard workers who can sacrifice for the cause. A truly great team is more than the sum of its parts. 

So the search continues for an undisputed Ultimate IX, because money can’t buy everything. 

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