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18-Year-Old Takes 3 Minutes To Put Title-Contending Arsenal Back In Their Place

Hello darkness my old friend.

As an Arsenal fan, waking up at 4:00 a.m. on a Sunday for a sunrise hike with my roommate, only to run out of gas halfway to the trailhead, was a lot like getting home after said hike knowing that I had today’s Arsenal vs Manchester United game recorded, only to accidentally check my notifications and see two Marcus Rashford goals against Arsenal.

They were setbacks, sure, but there was plenty of time to turn around a potential disaster around. After all, there was an hour of game time left for the Gunners to mount a comeback — and a gas station less than a mile’s walk from where our car stalled out.

Unlike me and my roommate, however, Arsenal’s day was indeed ruined by Marcus Rashford.

Marcus Rashford’s first goal against Arsenal, 29’

Marcus Rahsford’s second goal against Arsenal, 32’ 

Arsenal lost to Manchester United 3-2.

It’s getting poetic. Arsenal, a team that has prided itself on producing young talent for years, beaten by an 18-year-old Manchester United academy player (they’ve been training him since he was seven, ffs!). Arsenal, with it’s so-called “best chance at making a run at the title in years,” reinforcing it’s reputation as choke-artists, yet again. Arsenal, the team that can never, ever beat the big teams when it matters, loses to the worst iteration of a big team that the Premier League has seen in years. It all just made too much sense.

And then there’s still Marcus Rashford…

Marcus f***ing Rashford…

DID YOU SEE HOW BAD KOSCIELNY’S CLEARANCE WAS ON HIS FIRST GOAL GOAL? HE’S SUPPOSED TO BE ONE OF THE BEST CENTER-BACKS IN THE LEAGUE. DID YOU SEE HOW ALL 5’11” OF RASHFORD JUST WALTZED IN FRONT OF GABRIEL ON HIS SECOND? WHAT A JOKE! WHAT A F***ING JOKE!

Follow me on Twitter: @yetly

Or don’t, because it’s not like anything really matters at all…

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