Surgeon: Zlatan Ibrahimovic Has The Knees Of A 15-Year-Old

Zlatan Ibrahimovic tore his ACL in April and is still recovering. It’s unlikely he’ll return in 2017, though Manchester United included him on its Champions League group stage roster. More than likely he’ll be back in 2018 and he’ll probably score a few golazos along the way.

Importantly for the Manchester United striker in his recovery is his strength and overall health. According to Dr. Freddie Fu Ho-keung, the surgeon who performed Ibrahimovic’s knee surgery, the 35-year-old has the knees of a 15-year-old boy.

“When we examined his knee, other than the ligament injuries he sustained, the joint, the muscles and other parts of his knee are all in top-notch condition, just like those of a 15-year-old boy and not a soccer player who has been in fierce physical competition for so many years,” the American-based surgeon and professor said.

So if the Zlatan Ibrahimovic knee is that of a 15-year-old, how might a surgeon view his other body parts? Let’s examine.

Head: Gordie Howe

Gordie Howe. Photo: @TheFoursBar | Twitter

Ibrahimovic has a brilliant mind for the game. Despite his age and lack of pace, he can still find the right areas from which to punish opponents. He scored 28 goals last season for United before his injury. Thus, Zlatan’s head must be like that of Gordie Howe, the legendary hockey player who played professionally at the age of 69 (albeit for one shift). 

Arms: Cybernetics

Legendary.  Photo: @Ibra_official | Twitter

As a professional soccer player, Zlatan doesn’t need to use his arms much. That said, he’s still pretty buff. So maybe Zlatan doesn’t actually waste time working out his upper body, he’s just got the natural arm strength of a cyborg. It would make a lot of sense after playing his Zlatan Legends mobile game. 

Chest: Philip Banks

Uncle Phil. Photo: @ikkisoma | Twitter

Outside of Marouane Fellaini, few players utilize their chest the way Ibrahimovic does. When a ball comes sailing toward the giant Swede, Ibrahimovic can gently pluck the ball down to his feet with the delicate control of his body. It’s almost like he has a pillow on his chest, or he’s just a large man. Maybe, underneath all the tattoos and six-pack, Ibrahimovic has the chest of Uncle Phil from Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.

Thighs: Treebeard

Treebeard. Photo: @SerenaMalyon | Twitter

Ibrahimovic is one of the taller footballers in the world, standing at 6-5. How do you get to be that tall and still remain so talented? He has the legs of Treebeard, the oldest Ent in Lord of the Rings. This also explains Ibrahimovic’s lack of speed and his ability to play despite being such an old man. 

Feet: Bullet Bill

Bullet Bill. Photo: @YawnSleepRepeat | Twitter

Zlatan can kick the shit out of a ball. When he gets a hold of one, it will not stop until it hit something else, be it an Italian plumber or Gianluigi Donnarumma. It’s almost as if he has cartoonish rockets attached to his legs.