We Turned Footballers Into Museum Portraits And The Results Are Horrifying

Using Google’s Arts & Culture app, we created a series of monsters.

Google’s Arts & Culture app allows you to take a selfie and realize your fine art doppelgänger after it goes about analyzing your biometric data, and according to The Guardian’s Arwa Mahdawi “the science behind it is scary” and “supports the rise of the surveillance state,” but whatever, you'll die soon and it’s good to have a laugh. 

Whether or not you want to download the app (you do, I just explored Bilbao’s Guggenheim museum in 360) and find your own corresponding museum portrait (you do, I’m William Watson by George Romney) is completely up to you, but here’s 30 footballing persons turned into oil paintings.

Viewer discretion advised.

Cristiano Ronaldo

Soccer art projects

Cristiano Ronaldo's Sculpture

Soccer art project

Lionel Messi

Soccer art project

Neymar

Soccer art project

Franck Ribery

Soccer art project

Alex Morgan

Soccer art project

Ronaldinho

Soccer art project

Carli Lloyd

Carli Lloyd

Harry Kane

Soccer art project

Luka Modric

Soccer art project

Lieke Martens

Soccer art project

Loris Karius (should be Michelangelo's David)

Soccer art project

Mohamed Salah

Soccer art project

Bruce Arena

Soccer art project

Zlatan Ibrahimovic

Soccer art project

Peter Crouch

Soccer art project

Alexi Lalas

Soccer art project

Abby Wambach

Soccer art project

Jose Mourinho

Soccer art project

Pep Guardiola

Soccer art project

Pierluigi Collina

Soccer art project

Steven Gerrard

Soccer art project

Luis Suarez

Soccer art project

Carlos Valderrama

Soccer art project

Zinedine Zidane

Soccer art project

Mario Balotelli

Soccer art project

Landon Donovan

Soccer art project

Christian Pulisic

Soccer art project

Pele

Soccer art project

Diego Maradona

Soccer art project