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Manchester United's Shocking New Signing

The post-Sir Alex Ferguson era has hit an all-time low point with the team’s play becoming so boring that it's putting their fans to sleep, sparking a new demand for mattresses and pillows.

It’s a brilliant marketing strategy, Manchester United has over 600 million supporters across the globe, and fans will surely be thinking about sleep during their team’s underwhelming performances.

It's unclear whether the deal was made in order to pay Paul Pogba and Zlatan Ibrahimovic due to missing out on Champions League cash or if they needed the cash to finally update their website, which feels like a time capsule from 2003. However, players have reportedly not been taking the news well. Manchester United captain Wayne Rooney has been rumored to be especially wary of the club’s new signing, as he continues to lose minutes as the club looks for a replacement.

The five-year deal will see Mlily help the team with sleep and recovery, something that seems too little too late for Bastian Schweinsteiger now that he's finally returned from injury. However, knowing the German’s history, it won’t be long until he is back with the physio. 

The partnership is under heavy scrutiny with reports surfacing that the team failed to even consider star mattress makers Tempur-Pedic or Sleep Number, but it's clear that the club was in search of a memory foam mattress this window as they've now partnered with the largest seller of memory foam mattresses in the world. 

Critics have been saying that Manchester United was too quick to sign Mlily and that they should have explored all of their options. However, they seem more than happy to have landed their newest signing. Only time will tell if Mlily will be the difference maker for United.

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