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Luis Suarez's Volley Against Sporting Gijon Was Like This Truck Hitting Spike Strips At 115 Miles Per Hour

Luis Suarez hit a volley against Sporting Gijon that was so violent it reminded us of a car crash.

I want to talk about trucks for a second. Not just any trucks, mind you, but trucks being driven 115 miles per hour by escaped convicts that hit spike strips and fly through the air and land on Toyota Corollas.

This is what I want to talk about:

That happened in Louisiana, which is remarkable only because it didn't happen in Florida, and no one was hurt, not even the lady who had been sitting in her Toyota Corolla when a pickup fell out of the Goddamn sky and landed on it.

Here, watch it again:

That's a very violent video, in terms of gravitational forces. Everything is going a separate direction very quickly and with a lot of force, which is also a way to describe Luis Suarez's volley in the first half of Barcelona's 6-1 win over Sporting Gijon. 

Luis Suarez hit that so hard you can almost hear the fabric of space-time ripping apart, and he contorted his body in such an insane way you can almost hear his ligaments and tendons ripping apart.

None of that happened, though. Strange.