Why I Really Want To Go To The Leyton Orient Match Next Week And What Other Clubs Could Learn From Them

Sex sells, but absurd food items are the way to my heart.

Let’s just get this out of the way. I like donuts. Also doughnuts. Even donut holes. So when I heard about the Leyton Orient donut, I immediately became a fan.

There are many reasons to attend a football match: the camaraderie of the fans, feeling the roar of the crowd, the thrill of seeing top athletes in person and, of course, watching your team lose. But to me one of the key draws is having an excuse to eat food that’s really bad for you. 

If there’s one thing Americans do better than any other country in the world, it’s overdoing it on food. Nowhere is this more apparent than at sporting events. You can eat a three-foot tamale that’s filled with a chilidog and smothered in chili, cheese and sour cream and comes with its own carrying case at a baseball game in Texas. You can eat a “Churro Dog” in Arizona where the bun is made of donuts, the “meat” is a churro and it’s all suffocated by a heaping portion of ice cream, whip cream, chocolate and strawberry sauce and Oreo crumbs. You can get apple pie nachos, hot dogs with peanut butter on them, poutine made of churros and ice cream, coney dogs on a pizza, funnel cake on a patty melt, chicken and waffles in a cone, a burger with pizza as the bun, a bourbon and cinnamon babka push pop or even grasshoppers (a Mexican treat). 

Leyton Orient Donut

It’s not an American sporting event if you’re not giving yourself a heart attack with a tamale filled with a giant hot dog. Photo: @TimCiescoNBC5 | Twitter

I would argue excessive food is what makes America great. Just look at our president. But the Leyton Orient donut caught my eye more than any food offering in Europe in recent history and other clubs need to immediately follow suit. 

Like any good American, I’m obsessed with breakfast food. Whether it’s classics like eggs, bacon and sausage, Mexican food like burritos, tacos and migas, sweets like waffles, pancakes and cinnamon rolls or, best of all, Texas offerings like kolaches and Honey Butter Chicken Biscuits from Whataburger, I want it all and I want it 5 minutes ago. 

Perhaps more than anything else, I just love a good donut. I’d prefer a box of plain, glazed Shipley Do-nuts or maybe some wild concoction from Voodoo Doughnut, but really any donut will generally hit the spot (except for the doughy shit they shill at Winchell’s). 

Leyton Orient Donut

I don’t know what’s going on here I just know I need it in my mouth. Photo: @IAmCindySimmons | Twitter

It’s for this reason I am so in love with the idea of the Leyton Orient donut. It’s simple. It’s elegant. It’s a donut with the team’s logo right on it!

This magnificent item, filled with Bavarian cream, will be available on March 10 during the club’s match against Ebbsfleet United in the National League, England’s fifth tier. A fifth-tier match may not seem that exciting, but you can get a dozen of these beauties for a dozen pounds — what’s not to like? (An individual Leyton Orient donut — also called an O-nut — will run you £1.50.)

The reason behind the Leyton Orient donut stems from Nigel Travis, the CEO of Dunkin’ Donuts and a lifelong fan of the O’s. Travis led a consortium that took over the club in 2017, so what we really want to know is what took this idea so damn long. (To be fair, I think donuts from Dunkin’ Donuts are overpriced and extremely average, but a donut’s a donut.)

Leyton Orient, which boasts composer Andrew Lloyd Weber among its famous fans, has fallen on tough times recently. While the O’s forced a replay against Arsenal in the FA Cup fifth round in 2011 and they were in the playoffs to be promoted to the Championship in 2014, a year later the club was relegated to League Two. They fell to the fifth tier following the 2017 season.

But if there’s one thing I know, it’s donuts. The O’s may be 26 points out of first place in the table (actually one better than Arsenal), but the Leyton Orient donut makes them my new favorite club. I just wish I lived closer to London to partake in this wonderful treat. I guess I’ll have to settle for one of these.

Leyton Orient Donut

I’d love a Leyton Orient donut, but this might suffice and it's also available at National League games. Maybe I’ll order two. Photo: @SportsMgmtGrad | Twitter