Knowing How A Zipper Works Is Overrated

The Wenger Watch makes its triumphant return.

Today we answered a very important question in the world of football: which is more difficult, beating Crystal Palace or zippering a coat?

Zippering, clearly.

It's not like Arsenal made beating Crystal Palace look easy. Palace scored late to make it 3-2, but Arsenal held on through four minutes of stoppage time to finish the match. But they still won. So, going into 2018 (Arsenal have one more match in 2017 to play, but whatever), how is Arsene Wenger's standing as Arsenal manager looking right now?

Oh yeah you know what time it is. 

Arsene Wenger

WENGER IIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!

This rating is based solely on Wenger so far not really doing one single thing that would get him outright fired. We expect that trend to continue in 2018, as it has held true for the last 20+ years.

Of course, the main Arsenal story is what is going to happen with Alexis Sanchez, who conveniently scored twice against Palace. Has he committed his future to Arsenal and is now motivated? Does he know he's leaving in January and can now play with a weight lifted off his shoulders?

It's none of these things. Sanchez will not be sold in January and will leave on a free this summer. He scored two goals because he's really good at soccer.

But where will Arsene Wenger be by then? Probably on the Arsenal bench, trying to figure out that darn zipper.