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Where Is Ronaldinho Now? Chasing The Great Dinho

When we last reported on Ronaldinho Gaucho, it was to alert you that the great Brazilian No. 10 was delaying his decision on where to play next until after Carnival. Well, the annual Carnival of Brazil has come and gone, taking place between February 5 and February 10 this year, and it should come as no surprise that Ronaldinho had himself a blast.

So, apart from enjoying free agent life in the form of a continuous six-day party, what has the two-time FIFA World Player of the Year been up to over the past month? Actually, a lot of s***. And we're not just referring to his return to Fluminense. We'll break it down for you, complete with our own official Ronaldinho Fun-O-Meter.  

January 17, 2016: Ronaldinho Returns to Action with Fluminense FC Part II

In July of 2015, Ronaldinho announced that he’d signed with Brazilian side Fluminense FC, shortly after being released from his contract with Mexican club Queretaro. Ronaldinho’s stint with the Rio de Janeiro outfit was the least productive of his career. Appearing in 9 matches for Fluminense, Ronaldinho failed to register a single goal or assist before terminating his contract after little more than two months. 

While Ronaldinho’s performances on the pitch were an unmitigated disaster (Tricolor supporters often booed him for his listless displays) Fluminense were happy with the economic boost that Ronnie provided them. An increase in marketing returns, ticket and shirt sales saw the club announce that “Fluminense and Ronaldinho will proceed with ties maintained and plans to work on other projects in the future.”

The most imminent of those plans saw Ronaldinho appear for Fluminense once more, much to the annoyance of Fluminense striker Fred. Unfortunately for Fred, nobody cares what he thinks.  

Ronaldinho, sporting the now legendary number 100, made two appearances for Fluminense at the Florida Cup. While his performances in friendlies against Internacional and Shakhtar Donetsk did little to dismiss the notion that his game is very much on the wane, he still showed the necessary desire to board a plane, lace up his boots and strike a spherical ball. Future employers, consider yourselves put on alert. 

Ronaldinho's Fun-O-Meter: Florida Cup down, Carnival now that much closer. Shaka brah!

Ronaldinho's Fun-O-Meter: Hang Loose

Photo: @twiterdoMumu | Twitter

January 25, 2016: Ronaldinho is Almost Crushed by a Traffic Light

Ronaldinho Playing for Barcelona

Ronnie's accident in India probably looked something like this. Photo: @leo_anzeer | Twitter

Ronaldinho’s Super Dash app has achieved a four-star rating on the average of 32,000 Google Play store reviews. While inaugurating a football tournament in India, Ronaldinho reenacted the antics of his Subway Surfers like game, dodging urban terrain in the form of a collapsing rustic traffic light. He was duly awarded 100 gold stars.

In the timeless words of the Ronaldinho Super Dash app description, “live all the joys that only football can give us.” Being squished by traffic control signals is all part of the fun and attraction of football.

Ronaldinho's Fun-O-Meter: ...shaka brah?

January 30, 2016: Ronaldinho Plays in a Friendly for Ecuador's Barcelona Sporting Club

Back on the pitch, Ronaldinho represented Ecuador side Barcelona Sporting Club in a friendly against Peruvian club Universidad San Martin. Arranged by Ronaldinho's brother and agent, Roberto de Assis, the inspiration for this seemingly bizarre appearance came from a suggestion on social media.

We're guessing some precocious soccer savant pointed out the similarities between the names of Ecuador's Barcelona and Spain's Barcelona, which goes to show that "mes que un club" simply means that it's more than a club because it's actually two clubs.  

Ronaldinho's Fun-O-Meter:  Anonymous person on social media brought me here, shaka brah!

Ronaldinho's Fun-O-Meter: Shaka brah!

Photo: @10Ronaldinho | Twitter

February 3, 2016: Pope Francis meets Ronaldinho

His Holiness, Pope Francis, met Ronaldinho at the Vatican and reportedly asked the Brazilian, "Who was the better soccer player? Pele or Maradona?" The wily Ronaldinho replied, "Let's just leave them guessing and in suspense." He knew it was a loaded question, Pope Francis being Argentinian. He unfortunately didn't add, "Pele and Maradona never lobbed Seaman from 40 yards" because you shouldn't say nasty things like that to the Pope.

Ronaldinho's Fun-O-Meter: Shaka brah I leave with you; my shaka brah I give you. 

Ronaldinho's Fun-O-Meter: Shaka brah!

Photo: @CatholicHerald | Twitter

February 5, 2016: Ronaldinho Sends Custom Ronaldinho Scooters to Ronaldo and Neymar

Hover boards are the biggest thing since Ronaldinho's elasticos were setting the world ablaze. Much like the flip flap used to ruin defenders, hover boards have been banned from changing rooms due to their injurious nature. A massive wipeout could presumably ruin your career. But it's not part of the shaka brah lifestyle to worry about such things.

So Ronaldinho sent a couple customized Ronaldinho Scooters to birthday boys Ronaldo and Neymar. Live life on the edge, boys.

Ronaldinho's Fun-O-Meter: This investment was low-hanging shaka brah fruit! 

Ronaldinho's Fun-O-Meter: Shaka brah!

Photo: @TechieLobang | Twitter

February 6 - February 10, 2016: Ronaldinho Enjoys Carnival

A video posted by Leo Santana (@nossonegaoleo) on

Ronaldinho enjoyed himself in Salvador, a city in the northeastern Brazilian state of Bahia, over the Carnival period. Spotted dancing, canoodling and with that quintessential grin plastered on his face, Ronaldinho lived up to his billing as the magic man of Carnival.

Ronaldinho's Fun-O-Meter: Ready for China or MLS, shaka brah!

Ronaldinho's Fun-O-Meter: Shaka brah!

Photo: @TheSunFootball | Twitter

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