Entertainment

We Need To Talk About Newcastle United, The Best Team In England

The prevailing wisdom is to never look too far into preseason matches, but when those matches are repeatedly beating you over the head with the obvious, you should probably take notice.

Last year, under the guidance of Steve McClaren, Newcastle recorded just two victories in seven matches. They were defeated by Club Atlas, the Portland Timbers reserve squad and League Two side York City F.C. 

That disastrous preseason form led to an opening run of eight Premier League games without a victory. In hindsight, the club was doomed for relegation as early as October 3rd. 

 

This season, with Rafa Benitez at the helm, the club have recorded three wins and one draw while scoring 14 goals over four matches. Yes, our most difficult opposition has probably been Belgian Pro League club KSC Lokeren, but damn you for pointing that out.

Ayoze Perez is a sensation at the level of most Real Madrid squad members, Aleksandar Mitrovic is a subtle combination of Alan Shearer/Diego Costa and Jack Colback will break your legs off.  

Even Vurnon Anita, Yoan Gouffran and Florian Thauvin are doing goals for Newcastle. After costing Newcastle over £22 million, these three had conspired to play 207 Premier League matches while scoring 13 goals. Woof. 

Now, they’re the toast of Tyneside after hammering the Southend United Shrimpers. But such is the astonishing power of the ‘Rafa effect’. Newcastle will play in the English Championship following their relegation, but they’ve sold an incredible 33,000 season tickets already. 

They smashed Tottenham Hotspur 5-1 on the final day of the season, and that form looks set to continue against the likes of Burton Albion, Rotherham United and Aston Villa.

Newcastle United team bonding

Now that's a proper team building exercise. Photo: @NUFC | Twitter

Newcastle could very certainly match the Arsenal side of 2003-04 or the Preston North End team of 1887-88 in going through the league unbeaten. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, but League Cup and FA Cup triumphs would amount to a nice little treble for our once troubled club.

Mike Ashley still presides over the whole thing so we’re just as likely to see that Rafa has been sacked in the morning, but the additions of Matz Sels, Dwight Gayle, Matt Ritchie, Jesus Gamez and Isaac Hayden show the owner’s ambition to jump straight back up to the top flight.

Even better, we’ve managed to sell Papiss Cisse and Georginio Wijnaldum for nearly £25 million. With Moussa Sissoko and Cheick Tiote set to follow, there’s hardly anybody left to detest at the club. 

Will there be a mini-crises at some point this season? Invariably — whether that’s on the pitch or off it remains to be seen. That's simply the fabric of the club, but Benitez is a seamstress who's spinning straw into gold.

I, for one, welcome our new Spanish overlord and look forward to year without getting thumped by Sunderland.

Follow me on Twitter: @ConmanFleming

Videos you might like